no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So squirting runs in the family.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
