I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Randomize
