you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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