i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
