Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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