I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
