so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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