on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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