This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
