Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Michael Bay diarrhea
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
