oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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