I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
