dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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