I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Couch. On fire.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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