she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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