i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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