i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
worst night to have a conscience
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
