I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
