Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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