I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
