You made me cry and you don't even care
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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