it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
