Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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