just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
