yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
