Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
