Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
