I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
