Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
