saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
