i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have already put on my inside pants.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize