he puts the penis in happiness.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
