I just pynch a tree in the face
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
