Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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