Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
