dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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