Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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