I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
