....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
