I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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