I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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