we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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