Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
