We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
