I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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