I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
