Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
