she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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