Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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