You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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